Renewal & Reflections
I’m not good with New Year’s Resolutions. Personally, I think it’s the first lie people tell in the New Year. It’s not realistic, at least for me, to make promises and stick with them when I know how unpredictable life can be. I tell myself I’m going to wake up earlier, go to the gym, eat healthier, become more organized… basically, shit I should do but I don’t.
Instead of self sabotaging myself, I decided to make periodic reflections, focusing more on manifesting a better lifestyle.
Self care. Meaning, not laying in bed with face masks and doing jack shit because I do enough of that. I’m a handful. I’ve stressed myself and stretched myself too thin over the last four years trying to juggle a social life, keeping a focus on school, and trying to be there for my family. Graduating was the most liberating but, throwing a new job into the mix can get hectic all over again. So, while I have been spending a little more time treating myself and relaxing, my main focus has been being selfish. It’s okay to be a little selfish. Kanye West said it better than anyone else: I love myself way more than I love you. I used to go out of my way for people that, time and time again, proved they lack appreciation. I’ve noticed that the people that are there for you are the ones that make an effort to see you, ask how you’re doing, and cheer you on. If you’re constantly making plans or asking how someone is but they never really bother to reciprocate those feelings, what more of a indication do you need that you aren’t really valued. In the wise words of my good friend’s mom, I’m done wiping asses.
Minimalism. This really compliments my first goal. Keeping a clean and simple life has been a focal point. What I mean is, I keep things to a minimal. I’ve really reevaluated my relationships, friendships, my living space and myself. Spring cleaning is real and I think it's important to take a step back and reflect on what's important to you. I used to laugh when my dad would make me think about what was a Want versus a Need but this has been the best tip. In terms of friendships and family, I’ve focused on individual relationships and I’m a lot happier. I’ve also tried to be more mindful, of the planet and my health. This has also transcended into my blog. I think when I started, I had so many ideas and I kinda just put them all together. I think it’s easy to get lost, especially online with social media. I want to keep my site clean, fresh, and most importantly, me. A cleaner, more defined, site was in the books. This took a little longer than expected in case you’re wondering wtf happened to me from February to April.
Perspective & Change. Honestly, two of my weakest and least favorite topics. I don’t like change. I rewatch shows and movies and I’m notorious for looking up spoilers and explanations on Wikia and Fandom. Mario hates this and the fact that I need to watch everything with subtitles, sorry not sorry. Besides the superficial, I like to be in control and keep things relatively typical. I’m not big on new things but I’ve come to realize I’m never going to experience life and love if I don’t work on my stubborn mindset. I can’t control everything but I can only accept things and try to understand. Easier said than done but I have made great progress.
Growth. I mean this literally. A couple of months ago, I read that plants give off good energy. I admit, part of this was because I’ve seen cute decor inspiration. Nonetheless, it serves as a good project and personal test. Cross your fingers I keep my fiddle-leaf fig alive because I will be devastated. She’s doing pretty good so far and while I’ve had stress dreams about waking up with a dead plant, some greenery and life was just what I needed.
No more planning. I mean, to an extent. I like things to be planned in advance. I hate last minute things. I’m really not that friend you can text an hour before or the person you text telling them you’ll pick them up in five minutes. In some respects, this is a good thing and a bad thing. I end up stressing myself out or becoming annoyed when it’s not planned out properly. This is part of the reason I decided to be more carefree or, reckless. Although my blog started out as trying to explain my personal style I also feel like I have to explain my life style. While I have no problem mixing loud prints and simple styles, leather and lace, girly and street - being reckless was only something I’ve recently come to embrace. Obviously not in regard to my short fuse but in this idea of living in the moment and being carefree; going with the flow.
So while reckless can sometimes hold a negative connotation, I’ve decided to redefine it. Recklessness is alluring - going out of my comfort zone, embracing change and unexpectedness. I’m challenging myself.